Anti Torpe Society.com

How to get a hottie!

2009-04-25T22:44:00.001-07:00

I've dated some VERY beautiful women in my
life...real 10's! And if you want to do the same,
I can teach you pretty much everything there is to
know to attract and date a model, a stripper or
a hottie.

Allright...

What do Models, Hotties and Strippers have
in common? They all have men drooling all over
them wherever they go. These women are real 10s
and they know it.

Now you have to look at it this way: they get
asked out like 37 times each day (seriously!) by
all sorts of guys. Some are a complete joke who
want to take them out for dinner in McDonalds
(yes, I've heard some stories) while other drive
a Mercedes and own a yacht.

But they all fail because are COURTING these
women. This has to be the most common mistake
guys make when it comes to women and dating.
Please don't ever TRY to make a woman like you.

It doesn't work.

Women can't choose when they feel sexual
attraction for men like "Okay, I think he is
cute, funny and has an interesting personality,
I think it's time to become attracted to him."

It happens INSTANTLY!

But when you have all these guys trying to
BUY their affection by spending loads of money
and acting like nice gentlemen...then all their
efforts are for the gutter, really.

Read my lips here: This is NOT how you make
beautiful women have feelings for you. They will
not see you as that sexy man that they want to
kiss and get physical with.

Here's what I'm saying:

Why do you think that some of the most
beautiful women who can obviously CHOOSE anybody
they want...end up with dirty, sleazy, drunk
badboys who have tattoos all over their bodies
and treat them like crap?

Isn't that weird?

Very attractive women can get ANYBODY they
want, and they know it. So who do they go for?
Certainly not for those kind of guys that
approach and ask them out every day.

They need a challenge. They want somebody
that is in their league, somebody that is wild
so they can tame them. Somebody different that
doesn't go with the flow and does what everyone
else does.

So what chances have you got with a real 10?

Plenty, if you know what these women are
looking for. Go have a look at Dennis Rodman,
Kid Rock, Tommy Lee or Vince Neil. Those are
the role models you need to have a look at ...
not at those cute men you see in the movies who
rescue the princess.

If you want to become successful with models
or hotties you got to make sure you have a badboy
personality trait. Be wild, brake some rules and
be aggressive. If a woman acts like a brat, call
her on it. If you want something, then don't ask
for it...just take it!

It will take some time to get that trait
internalized because you have to study some
of the original badboy behavior like dominance,
aggressiveness and yes even slight arrogance...
but it works when it comes to women and dating.

Instead of saying "Hello, you are really
beautiful and I would like to take you out
for dinner sometimes" say something that only
somebody would say who KNOWS he can get
anybody he wants as well.

"HEY! You look cute...but I'm curious.
What else you got going for yourself but a
pretty lil' face. Tell me? Who knows, maybe
we get along" *evil grin*

Why do you think I get so many attractive
women? Because I have done my homework!

Now go do yours!

Pick-up Specialist: Chitchat To Avoid

2009-03-08T21:06:00.000-07:00

Previously, I’ve covered the chitchat you should avoid with women when you’re making a pickup or trying to get a phone number. However, after watching a few of my comrades try and come up with witty material for the ladies, sometimes they still try out those boneheaded topics of conversation that nullify their hopes and dash their best chances. Here are a few more conversation topics to avoid when you’re making chitchat and leaving behind that important first impression.

Describing yourself (or your own character traits)

As confounding as it may seem, there are still those rookie Players who feel the need to explain their personality traits to a woman rather than have her figure them out for herself. Perhaps it’s done as a form of self-validation or an honest attempt at being, well, honest, but it does nothing to promote your cause. When you describe yourself, you are throwing away any mystery about your character. It’s one thing to describe your job or your hobbies, but personality traits? It’s a buzz-kill, and it's a perfect example of the chitchat that players should avoid. Your character is meant to be discovered naturally; she’s smart enough to figure out if you’re nice, shy or brave, and it’s up to her to come to those conclusions. Romantic pursuits require subtlety and a casual approach that doesn’t need a fact sheet of qualifiers to check off as you go along.

Putting down other guys

It’s a natural, instinctive reaction for a male of any species to be suspect of another guy snooping around his business, let alone the object of your affection. We’ve all done it: gotten jealous of a guy who might seem stronger or faster, or even just ripped on another guy to show that you’re the better man. As far as women are concerned, this is more of an internal conflict that you need to keep to yourself. Women are not impressed by you blatantly positioning yourself as the alpha male.

So how does a Player go about it? For starters, don’t feel the need to put down other guys. It’s insulting, aggressive and makes you look like a self-absorbed douche. Again, it comes back to the idea of subtlety -- if there’s another guy who irks you, just smile and nod. An attractive man is defined more by his patience and tolerance than by his foul mouth, and women know it -- so should a Player.

Your own idiosyncrasies

The only thing worse than displaying your bad habits or idiosyncrasies is bringing them up with women. Your peculiarities are not what she’s interested in, and she doesn’t need you to explain any of your “endearing” quirks. Much to the chagrin of today’s geek-inclined men, pursuing women, especially very desirable women, still doesn’t involve talking about your collection of miniature spoons. Never has, never will.

Of course, what you may consider a normal idiosyncrasy might not be so normal to anyone else. If one of your idiosyncratic behaviors is being extremely superstitious, change the subject to a higher-level discussion about fate or luck. Always keep an ear open to what you’re saying and how she may hear it. An easy way to identify chitchat to avoid are things that have the potential to get lost in translation, and idiosyncrasies usually can.

Past conquests

It’s the bane of a woman’s existence: a guy who goes into a lengthy, unnecessary harangue about the number of ticks on his bedpost, or the number of women he’s been with. Past conquests are a fragile topic of chitchat to venture into, especially with someone you’re trying to win over. It’s not that your target doesn’t want to know about your history with women, it’s just that some details (most details, actually) don’t need to be expressed.

Keep that aura of mystery and confidence, at least initially. Spilling the beans shows signs of desperation and a willingness to change just for her, which could turn her off. As she becomes more interested in you, release a few tidbits at a time, but never expose too much. Talking about conquests or relationships shows a degree of insecurity that will tarnish your image.

So here are 9 ways to push yourself in dating

2008-11-30T04:14:00.000-08:00

If you have been reading my dating tips
for a long time, you should know that one of my
core philosophies is to constantly push one's
self-imposed limitations and go further than
other guys are willing to go. After all, most
people are lazy and if you are willing to go
further than them, then naturally you are going
to have more success in the world.

So here are 10 ways to push yourself in
dating:

1) Push yourself to make more friends: As I
always say, having a wild circle of friends or
an active social life is a must if you would
like to meet tons of women. The most popular
men and women are usually the ones that are
the most sociable.

2) Push yourself to flirt more: If you
flirt more than the average guy, you WILL
have more success in dating than the average
guy.

3) Push yourself to be more of a leader: The
alpha male always get more women than the average
Joe, and because most people would rather be
followers than leaders, often times you can
become alpha just be stepping up to the
plate and taking care of other people.

4) Push yourself in the gym: Muscles alone won't
help you in dating, but it definitely won't
hurt your success rate to look better.

5) Push yourself to advance with women: Be it
getting her number, holding her hand, or cuddling
with her, you should always be pushing ahead.

6) Push yourself to raise the bar: Improve the
quality of women you date over time, both in
terms of looks AND personality/character!

7) Push yourself in your education, business,
or career. Although I do not believe using money
to chase women, I totally believe that building
one's social status through wealth and education
can improve success in dating.

8) Push yourself to try new things: Cool people
have adventurous lives. Get yourself out there!

9) Push yourself to rest hard: If you do all
of the above without resting, you're going to
be burned out in no time. So cut down on "useless"
activities such as playing video games.

25 Signs A Woman Is Interested In You

2008-11-16T21:47:00.000-08:00

Here are 25 signs a woman is interested in you.

1) She flirts with you, but not with other guys.

2) She talks to you a lot, but not to other guys.

3) You catch her checking you out.

4) She lets a strap fall off a shoulder but does not fix it.

5) She's extremely excited and touchy when she is around you.

6) She flips her hair at you.

7) She flashes her wrists at you.

8) She licks her lips when she talks to you.

9) She leans over and whispers to you.

10) She mingle her stuff with yours.

11) She smiles genuinely when she's around you.

12) She fidgets with her clothes around you.

13) She laughs at your dumbest jokes.

14) She mirrors your body position.

15) She calls you for random reasons.

16) She blushes when she looks at you.

17) She tries to "domesticate" you or to cook for you.

18) She gives you "the vibe".

19) She dresses up when she knows she will see you.

20) She's available when you ask her out.

21) She preens when she is around you.

22) She does not talk about her boyfriend...ever...even when she has one.

23) She keeps her eyes locked on you while she talks or drinks.

24) She smiles or blushes when she catches you checking her out.

25) She tries to probe information about you.

Where to Take Women on Dates

2008-09-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

Here are a few good ideas for a first
date.

1) Bowling

Bowling is a good example of a "fun"
date. You will get to interact with her, and
if you are good at bowling, you can even teach
her a trick or too.

2) Dessert

Women can rarely turn down a good dessert.
Look for a good dessert place in your town and
take women there for a date. They'll love it!

3) Ice Skating

Ice-skating isn't just a cheesy date
idea from movies. It actually works. Hold her
hand and teach her how to skate if she doesn't
know how.

4) Mini Golf

Just like ice-skating and bowling,
mini golf is a fun date that will allow you
to interact with her.

5) Dinner At Home

Offer to cook her dinner or to let her
cook YOU dinner at your house. It's nice, casual
AND romantic!

6) Dinner Theatre

Instead of just going out for food, look
for a dinner theatre for a fun evening of
entertainment.

7) Picnic

Picnics are fun. Be classy and get some
nice cheese from your local specialty
cheese shop!

8) Art Museum

If the woman is the artsy type, take her
to an art gallery or museum. To avoid looking like
an idiot, make sure you know at least a little bit
about art yourself...

What players have that you dont have?

2008-09-21T22:04:00.000-07:00

Last time I talked about how there
are many men out there who resist the theory
of attraction. Today I am going to confront
another group of men - guys who think it is
hard for them to get a girlfriend because
they are not players.

Here is what I think: Instead of
of envying players because they get more
women than you do, think about how you can
learn from them and borrow some of their good
qualities that you lack...

For example...

1) Do they flirt more than you? (Flirting
and being playful are extremely important
when it comes to building attraction.)

2) Do they have more experience than you?
(As my romantic intelligence theory goes,
a lot of players are good with women
simply because they started out at a younger
age.)

3) Do they act like more of a challenge than you?
(This ties in with experience. A man with
more experience and lots of options can
AFFORD being a challenge.)

4) Are they more sociable than you?
(As I have stated in the past, I have yet
to meet a player who isn't sociable.)

5) Do they have a better external image than you?
(It is not who you are inside, but what
kind of IMAGE you give image, that matters.)

6) Are they more comfortable with their
own body than you are?
(How can you close if you aren't even
feel comfortable cuddling with a woman?)

Once you have identified the
things that you lack, then the next step
is to work on getting the same things. Work
on one thing at a time, and eventually
you will have the same success.

By the way, you can use the same
technique to model yourself after successful
people in various fields including business
and school!

In Defense of Attraction

2008-09-20T22:41:00.000-07:00

One criticism that I get all the time,
especially from my "more conservative readers"
from other cultures, is that it is "wrong"
to treat attraction seriously because it creates
social problems. According to these guys...

1) Divorce rate is higher in Western countries
because people are allowed to pick the partners
they like.

2) Women and men often cheat in Western cultures.

3) Women are more materialistic in Western cultures

4) Pre-arranged marriages have worked for thousands
of years, and the concept of "dating" is still
relatively new, so it may not be "right".

5) If everyone just listened to their hearts, people
would be no better than animals.

6) Flirting sucks because it creates uncertainty. It
is not logical.

7) Allowing women to dress up in sexy clothes create
many problems.

Here is my response to this bullsh**:

1) The divorce rate has actually been dropping in
Western countries in recent years. But that is
besides the point, as even a higher divorce rate
does not necessarily mean "dating" and "attraction"
are bad. Why? Because up to a hundred years ago,
divorces were not even available to the general
public. Kings and rich men could divorce (and
take on new wives), but not the average guy. Ask
your grandparents if it would have been appropriate
for their own grandparents to get a divorce!

Just because there were less divorces back then
doesn't mean people were any happier.

2) Cheating has existed in every culture since
the dawn of time. Plus, it's funny how the
guys who complain to me about their wives looking
at other guys are often the same guys who cheat
on their wives...

Hypocrites!

Instead of worrying about women cheating on you
because they have the freedom to, worry about
how to keeping your relationship healthy so
that they won't WANT to.

Hint: Check out: http://www.smartrelationshipscourse.com

3) As I have stated before, most people are
at least a tiny bit materialistic. Women in
western societies may consume more because
they have more money. But it's no different than
the parents of a woman from a more traditional
culture wanting to force their daughter into
marriage the rich local landlord. (Explain THAT!)

4) I really think guys who whine about attraction
do so out of fear. They feel like they are
losing power. Instead of adapting to an
important trend, they just get angry and upset.

Here is my advice if you belong to
this group of men:

Subject yourself to change!

You gotta subject yourself to change
before it subjugates YOU. This is an eternal
law that applies to the rise and fall of
people, companies, and nations. If you don't
change in changing times, you're going to
fall.

Family, national, and religious values
will continue to have less and less power over
relationships and love. Don't fight it. Learn
how to use it to your advantage!

"How To Encourage A Girl To Be Naughtier"

2008-08-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

Many guys would love to a girlfriend
who is a princess in public but a bit naughty
in the bedroom. Unfortunately, the two doesn't
always mix. So here are a few ways to help
you bring out your girlfriend's naughty side
in the bedroom.

1) It starts with your beliefs.

It all starts with your beliefs. You have
to be comfortable with being naughty (without
any guilt) before you can bring out the naughtiness
in a woman. You have to have a "matter of fact"
attitude when you talk about your fantasies. If you
are a bit embarrassed about intimacy, it will show
through in your voice tone and facial expression,
and the anti-slut response in the woman will be
triggered.

2) Encourage her to open up about her fantasies.

Once your stance on intimacy is clear,
encourage your girlfriend to be open about what
she likes in term of intimate contact. Start
small and take little steps. She will warm up
over time.

3) Never judge any of her fantasies negatively.

Remember to never judge anything she
likes. Don't ever criticize anything she has
done in the past. If you do, her anti-slut
defense will kick in!

4) Be playful and talk dirty

Be playful, flirty, and try to talk
dirty when the energy is right. "I want to
tap that ass" may be derogatory if you say
it to a random woman. But if you say it
to your girlfriend with the right voice tone
at the right moment, she'll love it.

5) Be discreet

Don't ever, ever kiss and tell.
What happens between you two should STAY
between you too.

6) Create a safe environment

Speaking of being discreet, remember
to create a safe environment for her to be
naughty with you. If she is feeling uncomfortable,
you're not going to anywhere with her!

"How To Make A Woman Jealous"

2008-08-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

Due to popular demand, I am going
to show you a few ways to make a woman
jealous.

First, a word of warning though:
When used properly, the following tactics
can make you seem like more a prize. But
if is EXTREMELY easy to cross the line
and push the woman away. So make sure you
know what you're doing before you use
these techniques. They can SERIOUSLY back
fire on you. You have been warned.

1) Change Your Priorities

The first technique is to pay
attention to things other than her. This
may include your friends, your hobbies,
and other things that don't include her.

If you're currently too needy,
doing this can actually help your
relationship. But of course, if you overdo
it and start neglecting your relationship,
it will backfire on you and ultimately
push your girlfriend away.

2) Raise Your Social Proof

The second thing to do is to
raise your social proof by improving
yourself.

If you look around you, you
will see that once a woman gets into
a relationship with a man, she will often
"dorkify" him by getting him dorky clothes
and making him look uncool.

So if you start working out, getting
nice haircuts, or getting a nice wardrobe,
she may start fearing that other women may
find you attractive.

Just don't overdo it. If you bring
out an uncontrollable jealous streak in
her, it's going to kill your relationship.

3) Befriend Girls

Lastly, if you have a few casual friends
that are female, it's going to drive your girlfriend
crazy. Just make sure you never cheat on her
and that you don't do it do a point that she leaves
you because she thinks you're a cheater.

It's all about the balance!

"How To Make More Friends And Become More Popular"

2008-07-27T20:55:00.000-07:00

As I always say, the guys that are
best with women are often the guys that are
the most sociable. So here are twenty ways
to be more popular and make more friends.

1) Have a natural curiosity towards people.

2) Smile a lot and be friendly.

3) Talk about what other people want to hear about.

4) Be positive and give people encouragement.

5) Be a good listener.

6) Flatter people sincerely.

7) Have fun hobbies.

8) Volunteer

9) Mention people's names when you speak.

10) Make time to see people.

11) Remember birthdays.

12) Connect friends with other friends. This
way they will all remember you or mention you
when they see each other.

13) Act like a leader.

14) Raise your social proof.

15) Leave people better than you find them.

16) Don't be intimidating.

17) Ignore rejection. There are plenty of
other people who will want to be your friend.

18) Speak out and seek attention.

19) Join a co-op sports team.

20) Take hobby classes.

21) Organize study sessions if you are still
in school.

22) Join hobby clubs.

23) Be reliable and trustworthy.

24) Think about how you can help other people
with their goals.

25) Make small talk with everyone you meet,
period!

"How To Use Temptation To Get A Date"

2008-07-26T00:44:00.001-07:00

Here is a little routine you can
use to get a date.

1) Think of event or place that is ultra
cool.

Examples:

- Upcoming party

- Upcoming concert

- Favorite "unknown" restaurant

- Some kind of an upcoming art event
or exhibition
(Especially if you are an expert on it)

The only rule is that Whatever you
pick should be quite unique and not something
"everybody" is talking about.

2) Casually mention it to the woman during
a conversation. Talk about how great it's going
to be, and then just switch to other topics.

3) Let her wonder why you are not inviting
her.

4) Use other techniques to continue building
rapport and displaying your great personality.

5) Just before you're about to leave, bring it up
again and invite her casually. Make it a "By
the way, you should come to..." kind of
thing.

If you do this routine properly, the
woman will be more likely to say "yes" to
a casual first date. After all, it is much
more interesting than checking out the best
Indian restaurant in town or going to the
see a cool band than to "get coffee" or
"get together for lunch"!

"How To Lift Yourself Out of Dating Blues"

2008-07-22T02:19:00.000-07:00

One of the most common questions
I get is how a person can get out of their
"dating blues" when they are down. This
may include moving on after a bad breakup
or getting out of depression after being
rejected.

This is my honest answer:

Do something that will have long
term benefits.

From my experience, depressed people
need to feel alive. It is quite useless to
tell them to be happy or just to do things
they like. When you are depressed and drained
emotionally, it is hard to get pleasure out
of anything - even in activities you would
normally enjoy.

However, doing things that can
give you long term benefits will make you
feel like you are in control of yourself,
and it is a great feeling to feel like
you're taking responsibility for yourself!

Set objectives and goals that have
long-term benefits, be it working out,
taking a class, or simply cleaning. By
focusing on the future instead of immediate
gratification, not only will you feel more
in control and have more confidence, you
will also see that you have a future to
look forward to!

"What If Women Like To Spread Gossips About You"

2008-07-19T22:35:00.000-07:00

Once in awhile, I'll get an email that
goes, "Johannsen. There's this woman who is
going around spreading rumors about me.
People are starting to believe her and it's
hurting my success. Girls don't like me anymore
because of her gossips. What should I do?"

Okay. I'm going to have to be a bit
blunt here. 9 out of 10 times, unless you've
done something drastically wrong, if people
are treating you badly because of gossips
from one person, you should really take
a good look at yourself and see why you are
so unpopular.

Let me give you two scenarios...

Scenario #1:

A woman who is quite popular spreads
some false rumors about a man who is not so
popular in a small community. Who will the
crowd side with?

Scenario #2:

A woman who is not popular at all
spreads false rumors about a guy everybody
loves. Who will the crowd sides with?

Here's the hard truth. If everybody
is joining in to ignore you or to humiliate
you, chances are, you weren't that popular to
begin with. If people liked you, they would
have defended you. Sounds harsh? It's
reality.

So the first step to stopping and
preventing false rumors is to be more
likable.

Think about why people dislike
you, and think about how to make more friends.

Once you have the "majority support",
then you can become to isolate the gossip
spreader as a loser who can't be trusted.

By then, you can also confront the
gossip spreader directly. Go up to the
person and say something like. "Hey.
I just thought I should tell you that
there's a gossip spreading around you
in the office. But don't worry, I won't
pass it in."

Then when she asks you what it is,
say, "Oh. I overheard it from someone -
I can't tell you who - that everybody
thinks you are the biggest gossiper in
the office and can't be trusted."

Bulls eye!

"How To Change A Woman (Or Man)"

2008-07-17T23:01:00.000-07:00

As I always say, you can't really
change a person unless they WANT to change.
In many cases, the character of the person
will remain the same. But if you're talking
about small changes, then there's a chance
that you can help promote change with the
following technique.

The key is to separate the behavior
from the identity of the person. This way,
the person will feel that it's not really
their fault.

Here's how to do it:

1) Start by complimenting the person. Tell
them what they want to hear.

Example:

"Jennifer, you are a wonderful,
wonderful woman and I like you a lot. You're
kind, generous, and adventurous. It's very
fun to be around you."

2) Bridge it to the behavior you want to
stop, but do it in such a way that you're
suggesting their real identity is opposite
of the behavior you are trying to stop.

Example:

"I can also tell that you're a very
loyal person by the way you treat me, your
friends and family."

3) Then separate the behavior from the identity.

Example:

"But sometimes when I see you talk
to other guys, I get uncomfortable. I know
you're not trying to flirt with them because
that's not the kind of girl you are. You're
not like other girls and that's why I fell
for you."

Here's the bottom line. If you tell
someone they are horrible because they did
something stupid, then you're attacking their
core identity and forcing them to act defensive.
But if you tell them you think they are too smart
to do something stupid, then they probably
won't do it just so they can keep the good image!

Go Out To Have Fun, Not To Pick Up Chicks

2008-05-20T06:10:00.000-07:00

Here is an important rule to remember when
you go out to pick up woman:

Go out not because you want to get girls,
but because you want to have fun with your buddies.

I'll give you an example:

2 guys go to the beach. The first guy is
there to pick up chicks. He gawks at the girls
and approaches everyone. The second guy is there
with his buddies and they are just there to have
a great time. A few girls walk by as they are playing
volleyball and he makes a casual comment about a
hat one of the girls is wearing. He invites her
to serve for his team for good luck. A few minutes
later they start talking naturally.

Which guy will look cool, and which
guy will look like a complete tool?

Here's what it all boils down to:
If you look like you're there to have fun with
your friends, you will look less desperate and
your approaches will look more natural and
spontaneous. On top of that, you will also have
more social proof because chances are, the girls
will have seen you having fun with your buddies.
And when you look like you're having a great time,
then it will be natural for other people to want
to join in the fun and become part of it
as well.

So what are you waiting for? Go hang
out with your friends!

"20 First Date Dating Tips"

2008-05-02T21:47:00.000-07:00

1) Flirt a lot. Be playful.

2) Tease her a lot and act like a challenge.

3) Stay in control and lead the date.

3) Avoid talking about politics, religion, and controversial
topics.

4) Give her your full attention. Don't check out other women.

5) Make good eye contact.

6) Have strong body language.

7) Don't talk about your past relationships, and change topics
when she talks about her past relationships.

8) Act positive and optimistic.

9) Don't make offensive jokes.

10) Don't act needy or kiss her ass.

11) Compliment her a little, but not too much. Remain a
challenge.

12) Be on time.

13) Play it cool.

14) Don't get drunk. Seriously.

15) Dress well and groom yourself before you see her.

16) Give her a big hug as soon as you meet her. Why? A little
physical touching right off the bat can be a good start!

17) Keep advancing in a subtle manner. Holding her hand? See
if you can get a kiss next, and so on.

18) Build rapport and have a stimulating conversation.

19) Act like a gentelman. Open doors and pull out chairs naturally.

20) Relax and have fun!

"How To Recover From A Breakup"

2008-05-02T21:32:00.000-07:00

Here are some tips on how to recover from a breakup.

1) Cut All Contact
No matter you're moving on or trying to get your ex back ( see www.reverseyourbreakup.com ), it is very important that you CUT ALL CONTACT with your ex. This will help rebuild your confidence so thatyou can move on.

2) Workout
Working out at the gym will help you get your ex off your mind. The endorphins released during your workouts will make you a happier person. The body you get from working out will also make you a more confident person.

3) See Your Friends
Remember all the friends that you've ditched just to hang out with your ex? Start hanging out with them again! Go hang out with them and let them lift you up!

4) Meet New Friends
You should also meet as many NEW friends as possible while you're single again. Being sociable is one of the best ways to meet members of the opposite sex. Even if you don't want to start dating againyet, meeting new people will help you get your mind offyour ex.

5) Spend Time With Family
Spending time with family is a good way to "recharge" your energy while you're single.

6) Find New hobbies
Spend some time on a new hobby or two while you're single. Besides taking your mind off your ex, developing your passion for different hobbies or subjects will definitely make you a more interesting and well-rounded person. Plus, chances are you will be able to meet men or women who enjoy the same hobbies as you do.

7) Education and Self-Improvement
Take a few college classes and buy a few self-improvement programs. You can NEVER spend too much time or money on your self-education.

8) Go After Your Dreams
Ambition is the most powerful aphrodisiac. Setting a long term goal will definitely help lift you out of your blues.

9) See Other People
See other people casually. This will help you build up your confidence again. You don't have to get into another long-term relationship right away...but at least start seeing other people!

10) Improve Your Dating Skills
Lastly, you should improve your dating skills while you are single. You want to make sure you don't repeat whatever mistakes you made last time with your ex. Remember: If you keep on doing the same things, you're going to keep getting the same results. I have seen too many "stubborn" people bump into the SAME walls OVER AND OVER with every person they date.

"The Romantic Appreciation Exercise"

2008-04-26T23:07:00.000-07:00

Here's a little exercise you can play with yourpartner to raise the intimacy in your relationship.

1) Have a nice, romantic evening together. (Have a nice dinner,go on a "date", break out of your routine and do something special, etc.)

2) Flirt and cuddle with your partner.

3) Tell your partner you want to play a game.

4) The game is to say five things that you guys appreciateabout each other.

5) Use the chance to give your partner some nice complimentsabout little things that the rest of the world would notnotice.

6) See what your partner has to say about you.

7) React positively and kiss your partner.

8) Cuddle some more and get a bit more physical.

9) Pull back and engage in a more serious conversation. Thenmake a joke using one of the things you have said abouteach other.

10) Cuddle and get more physical again.

Things Women Love To Hear

2008-04-20T00:39:00.000-07:00

Give compliments

The comedian Chris Rock said that women need three things: food, water and compliments. So, it’s not a matter of women just wanting to hear compliments, they actually can’t live without them. If they don’t get them, they might even shrivel up and die. If you can periodically reel off a nice compliment and genuinely mean it, don’t hesitate to do so because the benefits will come back to you in spades. However, be careful not to flood the air with empty flattery, as even the most attention-starved girl will see through your seduction strategy and call you out

Examples of things women love to hear:

“You look incredible.” It’s simple and effective. Every girl wants to hear this, particularly when she has gone to some trouble to look nice.
Those jeans look great on you.” This is a polite (and obvious) way of telling her that she has a nice ass.

Show commitment

When you include her in your future plans, you’re giving her a glimpse of the security -- whether she’s 19 or 36 -- that she probably craves. So, say something that indicates to her that you intend to be a part of her life for a long time. Invite her to a high school reunion that’s still six months away. It’s enough to let her know that you envisage a future together, but not so bold as to suggest marriage and the rest of it

Examples of things women love to hear:

“I’d love to take you to (enter place of choice) this summer.”
“I’m not interested in anyone else.” In any relationship, questions will inevitably arise about your commitment to her, so when she asks, say something like this to counter her doubts and reassure her that you’ve found all you ever needed.

Be Jealous

Being creatures of the natural world, women expect men to be the protectors in a relationship. And when we don’t act like it, they get irritated and begin to look elsewhere. We have to show them how much we care, which means that we have to get territorial once in a while. We’re by no means suggesting violent outbursts and paranoid accusations, but rather, some gentle prodding that demonstrates that you don’t want to lose her to anyone. At the end of the day, if you don’t take an interest in your girl’s well-being, someone else will come along with an offer to do so.

Examples of things women love to hear:

“Where were you?” You don’t have to be suspicious, just inquire about her whereabouts from time to time.
“Who’s that guy?” Ask her this in a half-joke, half-serious tone and she will think it’s cute that you’re still evaluating the competition.

Ask questions

You can win major brownie points just by demonstrating an interest in her day-to-day affairs. Of course, this means paying attention to previous conversations and remembering key details that you can impress her with later.

Examples of things women love to hear:

“How was your day?” Asking her something as simple as this can be an effective and engaging start. Be careful, though: even this phrase has been known to spark hour-long conversations about things that may mean very little to you.
“How’s your brother doing? Better, I hope?” Show her your compassionate side and ask about her friends or family members whom she mentioned were ill or going through some problems. She will be impressed that you remembered and grateful for someone to speak to about it.

Work on your delivery:

Just as important as what you say is how you say it. If you dish up these phrases and don’t actually mean them (which is often the case), you obviously have your work cut out for you if you want her to actually believe you. Work on your style and delivery, and don’t bandy these phrases about without some serious recognition of the power they hold.

What If A Woman Calls You A Player?

2008-04-12T00:57:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, a reader sent me the following
scenario: "doc love, I went on a date with a woman over
the weekend. During dinner she said I looked like a
player and that she's looking for a relationship with
someone who's more mature. So I tried very hard
to convince her that I wasn't a player. She wouldn't
believe me, and now she won't answer my calls. What
happened? How can I prove to her that I am really
not a player?"

Here's what I wrote back, "Congratulations.
She gave you a test, and guess what? YOU'VE FAILED
IT!"

Okay. Here's the truth. When a woman asks
you if you're a player, she's doing it as a test.
If you freak out and start trying to prove to her
what a good guy you are, you're going to fall right
into her trap and fail the test. To a woman, a man
who is good with women is not necessarily a bad man,
but a man who is interesting and fun to be around.
Guys who are popular with women walk around with
more social proof and romantic respect, which make
them even more challenging and interesting to
other women. So as a man, if you're seen as someone
who's good with women, why would you want to
give that power away?

Here's what you should do if a woman tests
you by accusing you of being a player: Just play
along and tell her it's not your fault that the
ladies won't leave you alone. You can even tell
her how much your life sucks because all the women
you meet only see you as a sex object, when
deep inside you really want a woman who will
cuddle and listen. (See how you're turning things
around?)

Be playful and use a woman's tests to
flirt with her, and she's going to fall for you -
HARD!

"How To Fix Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend"

2008-04-05T22:47:00.000-07:00

I'm often asked, "doc love, I am interested
in dating this girl but she's . How
can I get her to change so that she will be the
perfect girlfriend?"

Here's my answer: In most cases, if
you can't stand something about a person, you should
not get involved in a romantic relationship with
them. (I am not talking about tiny things. I am
talking about big issues.)

As a dating coach, I have worked with many men
and women who had married a person with flaws because
they thought they could "fix" the person over time.
Some of these clients even took on fixing (though they
usually call it "supporting") the person as their
personal mission.

I feel sorry for these men and women!

In my experience, you cannot make a person
change. Ultimately, it is up to the person to change
themselves. Any kind of external stimuli you put on
a person to make them change will lose its effect
over time.

In other words, don't expect your mate to
change much from the way they are right now. What
you see is what you get. Because for most people,
it is almost impossible to break away from their
old habits - especially if the person is past 30.

Of course, this does not mean that a person's
behavior can never change. Just don't EXPECT it to
change.

If you really like the person, then take the
person for who he or she is. But don't try to change
the person even if you know it's good for them. You
can try, but you will probably fail!

"10 Things To Remember When You Approach A Woman"

2008-04-05T22:39:00.000-07:00

Here are 10 things to remember when you approach a woman:

1) Have a smile on your face. Not a nervous smile, but a
confident, charming smile. Have the smile even if the
woman is not looking at you. Having a genuine smile will
help give you more confidence as well as create a
good first impression.

2) Make eye contact if possible. It's not always possible,
but when possible, do it.

3) Open up your body language. Think high and wide. Imagine
a string holding your head up at the top of your head.

4) Walk over casually. A mistake I see all the time is that
guys often walk too fast when they approach women. They
wait 10 minutes to get the courage to approach, and when
they finally do, they walk there quickly. This actually
raises the internal alarm in a woman's mind. A casual
walk there is much better as it will make her feel more
at ease with you.

5) Be away of personal space. Make sure you don't get too
close and invade her personal space at the beginning.

6) Don't try to "act smooth." In my experience, a lot
of guys actually put on an "act" as a way to protect
their inner ego. This way when they get rejected,
they can feel like the woman has rejected their "act"
instead of their actual selves. I know it takes a lot
more courage to be genuine, but really, while putting
on an act may help protect your ego in the short run,
it will damage your success in the long run.

7) Try to match her energy level. Make sure your energy
level is not too low or too high relative to hers.
If a woman has high energy, approach with low energy
and you will seem boring. If a woman has low energy and
you have too much energy when you approach, you will
make her feel alarmed.

8) If you're approaching a woman who is with friends,
approach the whole group rather than her. If you
approach her alone, her friends will give you
resistance.

9) If you have no idea what to say, think about what
you would say if you were just chatting up a random
stranger and to get his or her attention. The point
of an opener is to start a conversation, and that's it.
Don't worry about creating attraction, etc. That comes
later.

10) Remember that you're just trying to make friends.
Let go of your expectations and have fun. That's the most
important thing to remember!

How To Create A Good First Impression With Women

2008-04-03T00:40:00.000-07:00

First impressions are important. A lot of what
a woman thinks about you will be based on what she sees
within 60 seconds of meeting you. Here's how you can
create a good first impression when you meet a women.

1) Dress to impress. You don't need to wear expensive
clothes. But at least be clean and a bit stylish. If
you dress like a tool, you will be ignored like a tool.

2) Great everyone with a smile. Smiling relaxes people
and make them feel comfortable around you.

3) Look and feel positive. Positive energy draws people
towards you. Project a positive attitude at all times,
even in bad situations.

4) Have higher energy than whoever you're meeting.
This way, they will want to be part of your world
instead of wanting to get rid of you because you are
a loser.

5) Have a firm handshake. As a female friend of mine
likes to say, "I can tell if a guy is a loser or not
by his handshake."

6) Conform, without losing your individuality. If you
dress and act to different, you may be seen as an idiot.
But if you're too bland, you won't be memorable. So conform
to society's norms but have something unique about you.

7) Walk tall. Confidence and self-assurance goes a long
way. If you have closed body language, you're not going
to create a very good impression!

8) Make good eye contact. Don't look away until the other
person does. (But don't stare!)

9) Be naturally curious about the person you're meeting.

10) Lean slightly forward during conversation. This will show
that you are interested in what the other person is saying.

11) Have an objective for each encounter, such as "I want to
be memorable by making the person feel good."

12) Be attentive. Notice the details.

13) Talk slowly and clearly.

14) Have social proof before you approach. For example,
let the women see you having a great time with your
friends.

15) End the encounter while the energy is still high. This
will "lock in" the good impression of you.

should you mix approaching with flirting?

2008-03-28T06:37:00.000-07:00

A "noob" mistake that I see some of my readers
do all the time is that they try to combine approaching
women with flirting and teasing before they are ready
to do so.

When you're playing basketball, you learn to
dribble and you learn to shoot. Both are important
skills to have and do work together eventually, but
at the beginning, they need to be practiced separately
until you are ready to do them simultaneously.

Dating is no different. If you worry about
approaching women when you should be practicing
your flirting, it's going to kill your success. And
if you worry about how you should be flirting with
a woman before you approach her, it's going to lower
your confidence and make yourself stumble.

That's why you should practice approaching
women and flirting with them separately until they
both become second nature to you.

Start by flirt with every woman you come
across casually. Just let go of your expectations
and be playful. Forget about the results and just
do it. Flirt with all the females within your social
circle. (If you don't have one, it's time to get
one!)

Once you can do that, then start approaching
strangers (not just women, but men as well) and
small-talk them. Focus on meeting people and
developing your natural curiosity towards things and
people in general.

Finally, combine the two together and flirt
with the women you approach. Use some of the more
advanced flirting routines I've taught you such
as the "Name Tease Flirting Routine" I sent you
the other day.

I promise you'll have more success if you
break things down and practice before putting everything
back together again!

Top 10: Great Date Conversation Tips

2008-03-13T00:15:00.000-07:00

Number 10

Avoid the “interview”
Most guys treat a first date like a job interview, asking the same old boring questions that a woman is sure to have heard 100 times. Avoid asking questions like: “How old are you?”; “What do you do?”; and “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” and you’ll separate yourself from every other guy she has met. Following this great date conversation tip surely will lead to more interesting topics.

Number 9

Lead the conversation
If you sense that the conversation is going too far into the “boring zone” (you’re talking about work), don’t be afraid to take charge. Simply say, “Enough about that; let’s talk about something more interesting,” and you’ll be sure to instantly change a boring conversation -- and a boring date -- into an exciting time.

Number 8

Make eye contact
Not all of our great date conversation tips have to do with speaking or listening, as the intangibles of conversation are equally important. So, be sure to look into her sexy eyes when you talk to her. You should also hold eye contact just a little too long, as this will show her that you are a confident man who knows what he wants.

Number 7

Bring up current gossip
There’s a reason why every woman you know reads celebrity gossip magazines -- they just can’t get enough of the stuff! Don’t be afraid to ask her what she thinks about the latest fashion faux pas at the most recent awards show or what she thinks of the current celebrity-in-rehab news. When you discuss topics that are fun and interesting to her, she’ll automatically see you as fun and interesting.

Number 6

She’s watching you
Guess what, guys; when you’re talking to your waiter, the cab driver or the bartender, your date is listening to and judging you. Treat everyone you talk to with kindness and respect. She will notice, and that’s why it’s on our list of great date conversation tips.

Number 5

Be playful
Women love guys with whom they can have a good time, and a great way to spark some fun conversation is to ask left-field and playful questions that people don’t usually ask. So, next time you’re on a date, don’t be afraid to ask her what her favorite color is, what kind of ice cream she likes and how many stuffed animals she has. If you rate her answers, you’ll turn this strategy into a fun game: Cookie dough? Yeah, I don’t think this is gonna work out.

Number 4

Avoid the “tough topics”
Yes, I’m talking about politics and religion. You’re asking for trouble if you bring up either one of these. Save it!

Number 3

Don’t worry about uncomfortable silences
A sign that you are comfortable with someone is when you can enjoy a good silence with them and not feel that you have to talk the entire time. Next time one of your conversations comes to a lull, relax and let her be the one to spark it up again. It will show her that you’re comfortable with yourself, which will make her feel more comfortable with you.

Number 2

Don’t try to impress
Women have seen enough to know that guys who try to impress them are just trying to make up for their own insecurities. In fact, women are so tired of this that they will actually “test” you to see if you are one of those guys right away. So, be humble. If there is something about you that she would find impressive (such as a car or a loft), make her dig to find out what it is or discover it naturally -- don’t just blurt it out. She’ll be more impressed by your modesty than anything else.

Number 1

Avoid the dreaded “fatal questions”
Most guys don’t realize that asking a woman things like: “Am I your type?”; “How do you like me so far?”; and “Do you want to hang out again some time?” will instantly send her running for the hills. Why? Because it shows her that you aren’t the confident man that she wants. Remember that a confident guy knows it doesn’t matter if he’s her “type.” He also knows that she definitely “likes him” and would love to hang out again. Think about it.

"Should You Get Your Ex Back?"

2008-03-08T01:02:00.000-08:00

If you are thinking about getting your ex back,the first thing you should think about is why you guys broke up in the first place, as in if it was a characteror an attraction issue. If it's just an attraction orcommunication issue, then by all means try to raise the attraction and save your relationship.

But if you guys had broken up because of relationshipdrama, such as if you or your ex had too much emotionalbaggage to be involved with a romantic relationship, thenI'd recommend against getting back together. If it was you who had character problems, then fix yourself firstand then think about getting back together. If it was yourex who had character problems, then be glad that therelationship is over and don't even think about gettingback together.

This will require an objective review of yourex's and your own character. If you're still too emotional to have clear judgment, then here's a simple test: Thinkabout whether your close friends and family hate your ex do. If they do, chances are, there's something wrong withyour ex that you don't see.

You should also think about how compatible youactually are with your ex. If it's "just too hard" foryou guys to be together, maybe you both would be better offbeing with someone who'd create less drama.

A Simple Flirting Routine Based On Getting Caught

2008-03-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

A while ago I told you in one of my articles that one of the way to flirt or to approach a woman is by letting her catch you checking her out. Today I will show you an example of how to do it:

1) Find a restaurant or retail store where the girls wear name tags.

2) Approach a woman.

3) Make eye contact and smile. When she smiles back, say "Hello..." and pause.

4) Break the eye contact and move your gaze down slowly...until you reach her chest...where her name tag is.

5) Make eye contact again and say her name...slowly.

6) Pause and then give her a compliment OR tease about her name.

Example: "That's a very interesting name. What's the story behind it?" (If it is an unique name.)

Example: "That sounds like something from the Transformers."

7) Wait for her reaction. And then start the small-talking and flirting.

If you perform this routine correctly, you're going to make her blush!

Developing Rapport through Voice tone matching

2008-02-11T22:36:00.000-08:00

Here is an exercise I would like you to do to work on your voice tone matching skills.This is an important technique you can use tobuild rapport with women.

1) Choose an unimportant situation youdon't get about...with someone you don't careabout.

Pick a situation where you don't careabout the outcome at all, such as a casual conversation on the bus or a meeting with afriend of a friend.

2) Match their voice tone.

As you talk to the person, pay attentionto the tempo and voice tone of their voice. Tryto adjust your own tempo and voice tone until you are matching theirs. Now see if there is a feeling of rapportin the conversation.

3) Mismatch their voice tone.

Next, try to mismatch your tempo and voicetone on purpose. Notice how this impacts therapport.

4) Go back to matching

Finally, change back to matching the person'svoice tone. See if you regain the rapport.

With a little bit of practice, you will be able to build rapport by matching a person'svoice. You will get so used to it that itwill become second nature to you. That is when youcan used my advanced conversation techniques to "lead" a conversation with your voice tone!

Source: http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com/

How To Use Sappy Lines On Women

2008-02-08T21:23:00.000-08:00

As I always say, with the correct voicetone and playful attitude, you can say almostanything to a woman and still make her laugh.This is why sometimes even "sappy" or cornylines that "nice guys" like to use on womencan actually work if you use them correctly. The key is to use an extra playful attitude, almost as if you're mocking the line or the people who use it. Thos technique can accomplish severalthings.

First of all, instead of thinking you're a wimp, the woman will know you're being playful and maybe play along. This willboast the playful energy and raise the chemistry.

Secondly, it will demonstrate yoursocial proof by showing your woman you know what a man is or is not supposed to say. Thiswill make you seem like an "insider" - someonewho is experienced and capable of making her feel great. This in turn will build a kind ofspecial rapport that makes you seem more interesting than other guys.

Lastly, there'll be a bit of flattery power behind the sappy lines.The "wuss" part of the line will have alreadybeen disarmed by your "mockful" tone, leavingjust the good stuff to make your woman very,very happy!

The 7 signs a woman wants to be approached

2008-02-08T00:46:00.000-08:00

You probably are often in situations where you
don't know if a woman is receptive or not.

Perhaps it's in a bookstore, as you watch a
desirable woman browse the books. Or perhaps it's
at a coffee shop, wondering if a woman might like
you as you watch her working on her laptop
computer.

One of the big traps men fall into is they don't
find out if a woman is receptive or not. If she's
not, then fine, you can move on. But you have to
find out. How to do that?

1. Saying "hi" right away.

If you said "hi" to that woman at the coffee shop
when you first saw her, and she didn't say "hi"
back, you'd have a good idea that she's not very
receptive to your approaching her. If she did say
"hi" back, then you both have a little invested in
the relationship, and it will be easier to talk
with her more later.

2. Assessing her "vibe."

With some women, you really might get the sense
that there is a wall around them that they are
really in their own world.

In that situation, the average guy will make this
mistake -- he'll assume that if he was better with
women, he'd be able to break down that wall, talk
to that woman, and get her into bed in 20 minutes
or less.

Then the average guy will feel bad about himself.
Has that ever happened to you?

The truth is, some women are highly unreceptive,
and it doesn't have anything to do with you, and
there's nothing you are going to be able to do
about it. Stop idealizing her as "the perfect
woman, who got away" and stop beating yourself up
about it.

3. Check out her level of eye contact.

If you are around anyone, you are likely to make
accidental eye contact--unless that person is
making an effort to make sure that eye contact
does not occur. If you can't catch her eye, it
doesn't mean that the game is over, but it might
mean that she's less open to you than you might
like.

4. Being a source of certainty that the
interaction is going okay.

Remember, most of the time, a woman is looking to
you to gauge whether or not she should be tense in
an interaction. If you seem relaxed, she'll be
much more likely to relax, too.

On the other hand, if you are tense, she'll be
tense, too.

Don't wait for her to relax first--have the faith
that the interaction is okay, even before there's
any proof of it.

Providing that certainty is _much_ more important
than having the "perfect line." You can bumble all
over the place, but if you are a source of
certainty, then you will have a much better chance
with her.

5. See how she responds to comments.

You can find out if a woman is receptive by making
some little comment, and seeing how she responds
to it.

For instance -- If you are using your laptop
computer outside at a coffee shop, and it is too
bright to see the screen so you came back inside,
you might say something like, "Wow, it's nice out,
but too bright to see the screen" as you pass by
her.

See how she responds -- if she grunts or says
nothing, she's probably feeling unapproachable. If
she gives you an entire sentence, you are on your
way!

6. Try a simple conversation-starter.

Get this -- It IS permissible to start a
conversation with a very tepid, non-romantic
question.

You don't have to be romantic right off the bat --
just try a little test to find out if she's
interested in talking with you.

Look for something in the environment you can
comment on, or something about her person that you
can ask a question about. Then make your comment
or ask your question.

It's perfectly find to start a conversation with,
"Excuse me, I notice you have an Apple laptop. How
do you like it?" You just need to get something
started. It can get romantic later.

It's also excellent to ask, "What's the story
behind that?" about some article on her person.
For instance, you might say, "Excuse me, I
couldn't help noticing your unusual necklace. I
can't recall ever seeing one like that before. If
you wouldn't mind me asking, what's the story
behind that?"

These are good ways to open conversations with any
woman, and will help you see how receptive she is.

7. Don't beat yourself up for "missed"
opportunities.

We've said it before, and we'll say it again: It
does you no good to beat yourself up for not
talking to every woman who crosses your path.

Sometimes you'll "miss" opportunities with women.
Don't beat yourself up about it. Beating yourself
up about missing opportunities with women only
makes things worse.

We believe that this is true: "Missing"
opportunities -- and not beating yourself up about
them -- is part of learning to actually take
opportunities.

The sequence looks like this: 1) You believe there
are no opportunities. Eventually, that leads to 2)
You see opportunities, but don't take them, which
leads to 3) seeing opportunities and taking them.
Let yourself feel good about even _seeing_ the
opportunity to approach a woman. That will help
you take the opportunity in the future.

More women than you think want you to approach
them. Use these tips to find out which ones, and
take action!

How To Overcome Your Shyness Around Women

2008-01-31T23:15:00.000-08:00

Today we're going to talk about what youshould do if you're shy around women. First of all, you need to find out ifyou are shy around women or shy around people in general. It is a *very* important distinction. A lot of guys email me for help becausethey feel shy whenever they talk to a woman. Butmost of the time, it turns out they are also afraid of talking to strangers. This is why thefirst step of overcoming your shyness with womenshould be to find out if you're afraid of women or of strangers in general. If you have problem talking to strangersin general, then really, you should focus on becoming more sociable before you worry aboutpicking up women.

But let's say your problem isn't talking tostrangers. Let's say you're a very
sociable person,but you just have problem talking to girls. Here area few tips
to overcome that:

1) Flirt with girls you don't find attractive topractice. This will help you
pick up the flirtyattitude.

2) Focus on being a challenge, no matter how hotthe girl is. This will help
you remain in control of yourself.

3) Surround yourself with female friends. It is thebest way to become
more comfortable around women.

4) At the beginning, flirt with girls but without making it look like you're
asking then out.

5) Confidence comes from competence, which comesfrom practice *and* knowledge.
So visit my blog regularly and drill everything into your head.

6) Take baby steps. Start by saying "hi". Once you'recomfortable with that, make friends. Eventuallystart flirting. Similarly, if beautiful women intimidateyou, then approach more average-looking women untilyou are more confident.

7) Imagine you are talking to an old friend.

8) Imagine you are talking to a girl to hook her upwith a buddy of yours.

9) Relax and stop caring about the results. Focuson the fun instead!

Source: Marius Panzarella
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com/